I woke around ten. Somehow my alarm didn't go off at eight when I wanted to. Awake early on a Saturday morning? Yes! It seemed like only my friend downstairs and I were the only ones awake by noon so we around banging on people's doors. There was one friend though that pretty frightening to wake up. We asked each other "Do you want to face death?" "No, so you wake her up." Anyway, we ate lunch. I poured raspberry juice into my milk and it made a nice purple, milky color. Then I drank it. So I think I should be expecting a stomach ache pretty soon.

Earlier Xab called me to play operator all the way from here. He wanted me to locate things back at home since he was driving and had no access to a phone book or the internet. Even had to contact a friend in Massachusetts for an address. Speaking of this friend in Massachusetts, she somehow found this page. (I see you!) I looked on the referels on site meter and there was an IP address from the school she goes to and I thought [insert profane language here]. But that's okay, she didn't laugh at my journal or my writing and it seemed she found it amusing. I don't know who I'm hiding this thing from. I guess it's just better if people that know me don't really know about this then I'd feel better and more comfortable about writing things.

Last night I got a call from my friend. She was just checking up on me. I told her that I'm still alive but she was more worried that I might murdered someone. Strange, everyone thinks I'm homocidal now. Even Xab asked me a question. If I somehow for some reason murdered my roommate, would I get rid of the body right away or wait until the morning. O_o I can't even think past the thought of pointing a gun at a real person (maybe other than myself). Anyway, we were talking about the whole roommate thing and she admitted that she was worried when long ago I told her "Yeah! My roommate and I are so close! She calls me her sister." I have social problems. I fear people. No, I don't fear them. I'd just rather not mingle with them. I guess my roommate who I had known only for a month was the wrong person and the wrong time to start opening up to new people. I could tell they were a little worried back then but I just thought they were being overprotective or something. I didn't think they would be right. So after I disowned my roommate I went back into my little bubble of despising people. Now my friend is a little on my case for letting myself recoil but I told her that I'm getting along real well with my future roommies. Then she warned me again about getting too close to people too soon. Hah, people, so confusing. Anyway, I think these roommates understand me a little more than my current roommate does. They said my "dry, sarcastic humor is healthy".

I'm a little upset. I got a B on one of my midterms and then a C+ on my essay and who knows how much worse I can do. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself because life goes on. It's just that I really never had major academic problems that I couldn't help. Now it feels like I'm struggling and I can't get the grades that I used to get.

My friends said that they spotted my roommate lurking around the hall. They said that she really looks pissed up and they felt sorry for the poor TV that she was giving an ugly look to. I can't say that I don't know why she's all upset. I'm not exactly making her life heaven but I don't think I'm making it an absolute hell. I just hope she's not seeing this as one-sided, that I'm the only one that's inflicting grief on another. She's that brought this on even though she didn't know it.

I hung out with my friends for a while today. We played pool and watched "O, Brother Where Are Thou?" I haven't lost my touch in pool (not like I ever had any) and the movie was pretty good. I really didn't think it would be my type of movie but it was good. My friends are really into country music. Almost every genre of music practically. That's pretty cool. I like to think that my music interests lie in a lot of places but they really have an extensive music collection. I'm guessing I'm going to learn alot about music next year.

2/8/2002 12:13:59 PM

I'm posting from one of these computers from the Student Center. I just got my essay back on Mexican Caste paintings: C+. So pissed off. I was mad at the TA for a little bit for being so damn nit-picky with all these stupid details but I guess it's my fault. I'm mad at myself for letting myself get out of focus with the whole roommate ordeal. I don't think I can get an A in that class anymore. That really stinks because I kinda need the A for the Dean's list. So there's goes the Dean's list. Oh well. I could probably still get a B. Dammit. It's a writing class. I never get less than an A in a writing class. So mad. Stupid Stupid Stupid. Okay, that's all for now. It's kind f weird typing where everyone can see you.

Just came back from dinner. My social life now only exists during dinnertime so today I was kind of disappointed because most of my friends were MIA. Anyway, I ate dinner with the friend that lives right under my room. I used to be really close to her. Heck, I used to be really close to quite a few people here but I don't know what happened. I just sort of bounced back to my normal antisocial ways. I was remarking to her how a lot of the roommate pairs don't really get along anymore because alot of us used to be really close or at least wanted to be close. Now most of us can't really stand our roommate's guts. There are still a few in the hall that still hang around with their roommate and I said that it's kind of nice to see that so-and-so and such-and-such still get along really well. They still eat dinner together and they can actually sit in the same room at the same time. *gasp*. My friend replied that they only have each other and they don't really have any other friends so they just hang around each other like "two gay little girls." Unnverving since she always makes those types of remarks and puts on an angry face. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't mean it but she does mean it. So I said, "everybody can't be like you." Because that's her basis of insulting people. They aren't like her. They don't like to talk about what she likes to talk about. They don't have the same interests. Everyone has different interests but we shouldn't push them off as boring just because they don't like what we like. Well, that's what my friend does. I tried to say it in a joking manner but she picked up on my seriousness. Oh well. She didn't get mad or anything. And maybe I did get a small point across to her. Ah, the miracles of just using your voice once in a while.

2/7/2002 05:04:27 PM

My roommate's dad is around. He's been here for the past two days. Guess what he bought her: water. Kinda peculiar that she decides to bring back a box of water after I locked my stash up. Hmm. Anyway, I wasted most of my time today making that new blog (xacal). There goes four hours of my life and it's not even that great. But oh well. I learned some new stuff so maybe next time I get sick of these layouts it will only take 3 hours instead of four. Heh.

My future roommie visited me last night with a Cup of Noodles. Very strange. She put my name on it. I put it on top of my desk and said that I'll let her know how long it takes for it to disappear. Anyway, roommate rant of the day. She just had to reorganize her desk at midnight when I was already fast asleep. I don't really understand that but after about fifteen minutes of her dropping her books on the desk I sat up and asked her what she was doing at this time of night. I was pretty pissed. I never get several straight hours of sleep anymore.

For my computer research class we have to build a webpage. I know I'm not really the greatest webpage designer out there but I know more about this and that than average joe does. They're making us use Netscape Composer. Why? I don't know. Not that it's crap or anything but there are better things out there. And it's pretty limited in what we can do. They said be creative but they have a layout pretty much set up for you already. I was going to do something lame like "My Favorite Animes" because I just wanted to get this assignment over with but then a brilliant idea struck me: Plans for Global Domination (in cartoons). So yes, I'll be taking a not-so-serious looks at Pinky and the Brain, Marvin the Martian and Invader Zim.

Also, it doesn't seem like one blog/journal is enough so I'm attempting to start another blog in which Xab and I will collaborate in wreaking havoc on the net. My plan is to have our current journals (mine and his non-existant one) as our serious, more personal journals and have blogs just for junk and nonsense.

I'm usually not one to expend energy on revenge, but hmm. No sleep. If the reality I'm seeing right now is another hallucination, it's a pretty good hallucination. I don't remember getting any sleep last thing, or rather this morning. I feel like I've been half-awake the whole time while she was on the computer until 5:12 in the morning. Her alarm went off again and I know that my next-door neighbor has a midterm today and that my friend downstairs was complaining about the alarm too, so, with more cuss words I got up and turned it off. The thing is I think she was awake. I should have told her off. I should have left it running and just went to the bathroom while the neighbors would wake up and arm themselves with pitchforks and axes to start a riot in my room.

I get jealous and somewhat irrationally angry with Xab because when we fall asleep on the phone, I'm usually not sleeping yet. Or I'd be in the process of waking up since the demon returned. It's no fair that he gets all the sleep and I have to lay here with half-sanity. I think I'm going to revert to sleeping on the couch again. It's not comfortable or warm but at least I sleep.

Hmm, she's getting pissed at me right now. I think I woke her up. Heh, but she has no idea what I go through yet. Stupid brats with no consciences.

I had a fairly boring day. My roommate woke me up at two in the morning if that's anything new. I'm starting to get accustomed to it, even accepting. I just have to learn how to tune out her noise. Of course she's loud I'm gonna have to snap at her again but so far I guess she's trying to keep the noise down. I'm getting the feeling that she hates the dorm and everyone in it. Maybe she'll move out. Wow.

I was chatting with a friend online and she introduced me to the music of Josh Groban, who is like a younger, American version of Andrea Bocelli. Yes, he sings opera. It's pretty good stuff if you're ready to take a break from pop culture trash. He sings in English, Spanish, Italian and I don't know what else. Give it a try.

Xab and I agreed that we need to start getting focused on school. We can't talk to each other until 9:00. This is the first day of that little test. Strangely, I still feel like I accomplished nothing and he, as usual, did almost no studying. Arg, that boy worries me but he assures everyone he knows what he's doing. I'm pretty sure he does. Hopefully, he'll start cracking at the books before hell freezes.

Since I'm miserable out of my mind and have nothing to say other than more roommate complaints I uploaded a few photos into the photo section and some other sections have been updated, too, a while back, I just never mentioned it. Well, I better hit the haystack before my roommate comes back and starts making a lot of noise. More noise than usual since she's going to see that I'm awake.

I arrived back about an hour ago. I had a pretty good weekend not thinking about my roommate and thinking about the new trusty chain and lock on my cabinet. I'm starting to go crazy not knowing what happened to all my stuff. I'm starting to doubt that she took all that and maybe one of my neighbors did or they just somehow disappeared. Over the weekend, I figured out where my blindspot is. Maybe it's like that. Everything that happened was in my blindspot and now I'll never know. There's lots of things that I'll never know so I guess I better not stress over it. I just have to be more careful now.

My brother and my cousin were acting like the Super Bowl was a holiday. On Saturday night, my cousin said to me "Happy Super Bowl day" and today, when my brother's friend came over to play, my brother said "What are you doing visiting us on Super Bowl Day??" like it was Christmas or something. Sad. Very sad. We can't even observe Christmas the right way and here we are acting like the Super Bowl is the pilgrimage day for television.

I spent a lot of time with Xab over the weekend. My mom calls him my 'tail' since he seems to be following me wherever I go. I strolled into the kitchen and my mom looks at me strangely saying "Your tail is missing." My grandmother is always giving me this worrisome look. I'm guessing she heard about the problems I'm having at school. She's usually not very warm around me. Of course you can tell that she loves me and all that but she's never really loving with me but when she saw me when I came back she was acting like I was five or something.

I emailed my cousin who works for a cell phone company to ask him if he could replace the my spare cell phone battery and my extra earpiece. I felt so bad about having it missing or taken that having it replaced would somehow make me feel better. He emailed me, or rather lectured to me, saying that he'll replace the material objects since they're replaceable but he gave me a long letter about not putting myself in these types of situations. He says that I'm shy and quiet and that my roommate is probably taking advantage of that fact. It's kind of cool getting advice from my big brother type cousin but I don't know what to do. right now, I think I'm trying to build a solid case against her. I'm trying to show that I've done everything to make her stop being inconsiderate.

Anyway, enough about her. When I came back, two of my future roommates greeted me and presented me with a box of milano cookies to replace the one that's missing. And my other roommate was telling me that she was going to tape a Cup of Noodles to the door. I was so happy. It's really a lot to me that they thought about the crazy crap I'm going through and tried to fix it for me. That was really cool of them. I know next year won't be so hellish.