The Slowest Day in History

My mom's alumni association had a picnic reunion today and I was dragged along. My mom made me go because she said that she would be by herself if someone didn't go with her. It pisses me off because if I go I'm the one who is bored out of my mind and abandoned since she would completely forget about me and gossip with her friends.

"You're being boring," her sister says to me.

"I can't help it. This is for old people," I say jokingly. "See, there are no kids."

"Ayy!"

"Mom, next time don't drag me."

"What?"

"No one takes their kids to these things anymore. Look." A quick scan of the crowd shows that the average age of all the guest is probably 45 and their are about 5 people under the age of 20, maybe even 30. A few years ago these reunions were filled with bored kids and frustrated teenagers. I think most parents figured out that it's better to leave the kids home because the reunions would be more enjoyable without whining children begging to go home. Not my mom of course. I'm the "obediant child." It sucks being good. All my brother has to do is act like the jackass that he is and my mom would probably even beg him to stay home.

I was pissed off. I had no place there. But I got over it. Most of the time there I was sitting next to my auntie. I sat next to her so long that people began asking her if I was her daughter. Sometimes, it seems as if she wants a daughter. She only has her teenage son and being a teenage son she can no longer hold him. You can hear it in her when she tells them who my parents are and that her son is in the Philippines.

I've been eating melon the whole day. We got to the picnic a little late and the food I ate was a little spoiled so I didn't eat much. I thought I was perfecting my art. At family parties I try to busy myself so that I wouldn't look dumb just sitting in a corner doing nothing so I try to eat slow. That way no one would hassle me or think I'm trying to diet. But I was eating slow because the food just didn't taste good. I came down with a slight stomach ache. At dinner time, we went to my mom's sister's house. They had sinigang which I was looking forward to but FC ate some and found a worm which probably came along with the vegetables. So I want back to eating canteloupe and watermelon.

I didn't have too much of a problem with the relatives. Usually they would remark on how I gained weight or lost weight or whatever in a mocking sort of way but no one said anything like that. A few times people would ask my mom if I was her youngest even though I'm the oldest. When they learned that they would say that she still has babies for children since "You're how old, dalaga? About sixteen?" even though in about of week I'll be nineteen. I don't mind that though.

I've been away from these people for so long that I don't remember their names anymore. I just say "Uncle" or "Auntie" whenever someone's talking to me. You can't be assuming though. Sometimes there are grandmother and grandfathers who you would call "grandpa" or "grandma" but they would insist on being called "Uncle" and "Auntie".

We come home to find that my brother has been having a blast being all alone in the house. He ordered pizza and has been scarfing down on ice cream.

Thrift Shopping

I went thrift store shopping again today. I'm really still a rookie at thrift shopping, heck even normal shopping as it is. I hate spending money on clothes. It's just clothes, garments made to cover your body. I hate how they cost so much. Makes me wish I knew how to sew. But I guess thrift stores are the next best thing. You just need to know how to look. I bought a pair of baggy pants, the type of pants I like to wear. I don't feel confined in it. I look kinda tomboyish but I don't mind. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm just going to school.

Speaking of school, I don't feel so scared about going anymore. I guess I'm ready to leave the nest again, and Xab, and homecooked meals. Not that anyone cooks at home most of the time anyway. I'm almost eager to leave. My brother is driving me crazy. He's been driving me crazy for the past thirteen years but after knowing how peaceful I am without him pestering me for weeks on end, I'm glad to being going off to school again. It's a selfish statement. I'm neither thinking about him or my parents and the grief they have to go through but the way I see it, my presence doesn't help lighten the load. I actually think that I add a bit more to the problem since I'm always trying to fight with my brother and try to make him change.

I tried being nice to my brother again even though I've been firmly telling myself that I am no longer going try to help my brother. I offered to take him out for ice cream. He agrees but when we were in the garage he smartmouths me again, I reproach him and he says he's not coming anymore. Like I really cared. I hopped into the car without a word and drove off without him.

8/23/2002 12:15:28 AM

I went up to my apartment today with Xab. We brought in my desk, chair and a few storage cubes and spent the day assembling all that stuff. We were going shopping around the area, to see if any thrift stores existed in that oblivious suburbia. Of course it doesn't. It would be a blemish on their snazzy, middle class life. But it's cool. I get annoyed living there, watching these dummies drive passed in their fixed up imports, or with their brand name logo wardrobe. They are all owned. They piss me off. Of course, I don't know most of those kind of people but I just want to ask them "Don't you care about anything else in the world?" If it takes place passed the mall or the car shop, they don't know about it and they don't care about it.

Hmm. So where have I been? Nowhere really. Just got sick of journaling for a bit. I ought to keep these entries short, so I won't get sick of writing. Anyway, everyone found out that FC is pregnant. Her brother ratted her out. No one seems to care much. My parents were surprised but they think it would be good for her. All that FC's mom is worried about is that her decorations in her house will be destroyed when the baby comes around.

Another of my first cousins was born yesterday morning. He was supposed to be born around my birthday but he was three weeks early. I haven't heard much, except that it's a boy, as expected. I'm not too excited. So many babies around... Need to issue retirement for babysitting career.