I hung out with a great group of young women tonight. Recently, I joined a mentoring program and we decided to have a potluck for just we mentors. I thought it was just really cool for a lot of these girls to feel the same way that I do about the world... about how I don't want to get out of school programmed to be a loyal capitalist and get a 40-hour a week job... just laugh about things... It's been a while since I enjoyed life. I can't say that I'm totally comfortable with them but it's good to know that I'm not the only one in the world reluctant to become a drone. Everytime I talk about becoming a drone in society people just think I'm some lazy snot. Ahh, I don't know. It was so amazing. It's been a while since I had interaction with humans other than my roommates and her boyfriend who I sometimes wonder if he is human himself.

We talked about different things, sexism, race, ethnicity. A lot about race and ethnicity actually since not one of us came from the same background. We would have talked the whole night but the girl whose apartment we where in had to go so we had to leave. But I'm pretty sure we'll hang out again. It's just a breath of fresh air.

Losing My Sense of Humor

My roommate's boyfriend thinks I don't have a sense of humor. But he only thinks that because I don't laugh at his jokes. It makes me think I'm closed minded and boring. But really, maybe his jokes aren't that funny. I don't even know what made me laugh before. It really stinks that there are only two people in the world who can make me smile now. They don't understand why I'm not smiling anymore... my roommates, that is. I don't want to tell them I'm sick of this hellhole, that I just want to leave. They wouldn't understand how I'm so sick and tired of everything. Maybe it's just me. I don't understand what's going on. I just can't find anything funny anymore. Nothing is amusing. Can you imagine a life like that? Finding nothing amusing. Am I just narrow minded? Or is my mind so open that I've realized that there's nothing out there in this shithole called society?